lonely
by abbybaka
Summary: Byakuren griefs over her bother's death, and Shou comforts her through her hardest times.


Byakuren sat crisscrossed on the concrete floor of the Myouren temple, admiring the statues and artwork that decorated the place ,despite it all being covered in a thin layer of dust and dirt. Little bits of sunlight peaked through holes in the ceiling, making a light in the middle of the room, but the rest was veiled by shadows. This was the only room like this in the temple, one only Byakuren had access to. She always told everyone the door was broken, and just shouldn't be bothered with, but she had the key, and this was her place to be alone.

She just sat and thought to herself, enjoying the silence. Though she admits, it felt lonely. She was always with the rest of everyone, all of them together almost always, but she still had this unexplained feeling of loneliness that kept dragging her back to this room. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake off that deep, hidden loneliness she barely knew she had. She thought about as she sat, soon coming to a realization. She realized she did understand this feeling, but at the same time, she still had so many questions. Little did she know they'd be answered today. She turned her head, and what she saw sent her into shock.

Her brother, Myouren, stood there, the old smile she remembered so perfectly pasted on his face._ I-it couldn't be him, I'm losing it…could he have really…no, no this is fake._ She stared, looking him up and down. _He looks so real…so alive, could it…really be?_ Her mind became blank and she let those thoughts go, tears of happiness dripped down her cheeks. She ran towards him, arm put out ready to hug her thought to be departed brother, only walk right through what she thought was him.

"W-what…"

Nothing was there, her surprised expression again became normal with a hint of sadness, as the once happy tears fell harder and filled with sadness. She knew it was too good to be true, she was simply hallucinating, all the thoughts and memories of her brother tried to replace him, only to leave nothing more than a vision that lasted a mere few seconds. She felt to the floor, hands covering her face and her sobbing became more intense. She felt sadder than ever, maybe even sadder than the exact moment she witnessed him die. But she felt also what she thought was anger, she was angry. Angry at death, for choosing her brother, when surely it could have been someone else. It seemed almost greedy to her, but she couldn't help but feel such a thing shouldn't have happened to someone as good and kind to all as her bother.

She whispered his name absent-mindedly, her hands left her face and drooped by her sides as she felt a few last tears left her eyes.

"Byakuren?"

Byakuren jumped, the sudden unexpected voice echoed the large room. She turned to see Shou standing in the doorway, staring wide-eyed as she observed the room. She mentally hit herself for not locking the door. "What is this place…hey, Byakuren are you-"

She stopped when she felt Byakuren wrap her arms around her, digging her head into Shou's chest. "Huh?" She lifted byakuren's chin with her hand so she was facing her. Her eyes were scarlet red from the crying and burned, the parts of her hair soaked in tears were stuck to the sides of her face. "Byakuren, why are you crying?"

"I saw h-him." she said between sobs.

"Who?"

"My…brother, I saw…" she stopped to sniffle, "Myouren."

"He's alive? Where is he?"

"No…it was, a illusion, my mind played tricks on me."

Shou understood completely, she knew how close Byakuren and her brother were, always hearing the stories Byakuren told to everyone about the two of them. And she knew how his death affected her, she not only lost someone dear to her, but now had to live with fear that she has that same fate, the fate that she avoids through artificial magic.

"I just wish it really was him, I'd give anything…just to at least see him once."

Shou could hear the sadness in her voice, she wanted to help her, but had no idea what to say.

"Well, Byakuren," she started, "there's reincarnation."

"H-huh?"

"You shouldn't fear death, surely you'll be reborn into a new person right after." she tried to sound as convincing as possible. "Wether you're different people or not, you'll have the same fate as your previous life, you'll be siblings again and relive all those wonderful moments."

"But, he'll still leave me again, won't he?"

Shou swallowed, maybe she worded that poorly, that, or Byakuren didn't understand."

"Sure, maybe, but think about how you'll see him again, even after those deaths." Shou stroked Byakuren's hair as she tried to comfort her, "and if you live fearing death, you're only dragging yourself closer to it, if you focus only on the happy moments, you'll be happy, and the saddness will be left behind."

Byakuren understood completely, a smile appeared on her face and a few more tears dripped down her face. She hugged Shou again, being thankful she had such a person to comfort her through her troubles.

"Now, come on, the others are waiting."

They both stepped outside as Byakuren locked the door behind her.

"Shou, never tell anyone about that room, please?"

Shou smiled, "whatever you wish."

"Also, since you already know about it, you're welcome to it anytime, to be with me there."

Sunlight shone on her face and made her feel hot, everyone else stood in front of them on the stone pathway.

"Gee, what took you guys so long?" Murasa said with obvious impatientness.

"We had to get something done real quick."

Murasa shrugged, and walked off, everyone else followed her. Byakuren and Shou also followed, still holding each other's hands in the tightest possible grip. Byakuren thought about what Shou had said, and all her friends around her.

Maybe she wasn't so lonely after all.


End file.
